Why am I the one with Separation Anxiety??!!

Soo... this weekend was great! It was just like old times with the girls, hanging out, shopping, and going downtown, but I couldn't stop thinking about my stinky. This was the first time I left her overnight at her grandmother's house, her father's side, without me coming back in time to put her to sleep and watch her throughout the night. I kept calling to check up on her and let them know what, how and when to do things. I guess I called too much because G-ma got a little offended and told me she knew what she was doing having raised 6 kids and all. lol... I couldn't help it though, the whole time away from her I kept wondering if she was ok, was she getting burped right, was she taking a nap on her stomach or back, were they feeding her the same ounces that I did, were they acting like I did with her??? At least with my parents I can tell them what to do and how to do things because they act like its been forever since they had to watch a baby, well I guess it has been about 18 years now that my little sister is about to graduate high school. Maybe this is what they mean by a child being raised by a village, everyone has different ways of raising kids, and being taken care of by others is just what my lil stinky needs in order to grow up with all the right morals and values. I don't know why I can't have fun without baby girl with me anymore, I don't have the urge to go out to bars or clubs with friends anymore, i just want to be home with my lil stinky all the time. I guess I'm just so used to watching her 24/7 that it feels like a part of me is missing when she's not with me. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around, she is the one that should be freaking out when she goes with other people, not laughing and playing as if she doesn't care one way or the other.

 I told myself that I would be the same person once she got here, but I find myself slowly changing into a lesser version of the crazy, fun, outgoing, up-for-anything person and integrating the mommy, homebody, sweat pants, laundry-doing version of myself. I wish I could find the right balance. I think I've been couped up too long in the house with her that I don't know how to not worry and have a little fun anymore. I guess I have some things to work on huh? lol